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tv topic- ranting about the only 5 shows I watch   
01:26am 24/03/2008
  Does anyone else agree that october road is annoyingly homophobic?- They keep making ex-s or minor characters coming out/sexuality a random plot device.
Also the flashback episode dealing with the death of a childhood friend/tomboy was totally pointless.

Also being shoved into contact with Two and a Half Men, I really don't get why they can't play another angle other than the dumb girl character,

They should take a few notes on the amazingness that is "How I met your mother" That show is the perfect 22 minute power punch of comedy, character development, and cohesive plot and style.

grr..

One more thing... Why the heck does Ronny on Bravo's "Make Me a Supermodel" have a random massive bandage on his right shoulder?
 
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meat market   
03:01pm 16/03/2008
  One of the weirdest weeks of my short life.
Going through and explaining things to peers, friends, and even educators/ bosses really helped me cement out some issues with my project for me. But more questions and Ideas came out of the experience than any answers I could have obtained.
The idea of success was the undercurrent through the whole weekend. My role as a daughter, student, artist, family member and future workforce member tore me to bits.
(I sold my first print this weekend. And had my first art show.)
I realized how much I love my friends but at the same time understood how solitary life can be.
This morning i also started putting into perspective my life ever since I did the addiction project. Since October I have been going out A lot. But what does it all mean when I haven't lassoed in artistic peers to bounce ideas off of or created lasting friendships or romantic relationships.
I see other people who are serial kissers of sorts. I have seen couples who come together. Couples who come apart. Women who grind and lash and cheat due to ethanol. I actually overheard a long and developed conversation about the "scenes". I compare this human chess game of popularity to buying $500$ purses.
The conversation between the two women recalled when a certain new girl became "new to the scene" she was fresh meat and everyone was on her.
Then one girl was describing her struggle with wanting to ":change scenes" They agreed that the friend would switch first and "talk up " the other girl.
So what is the point of this social planning? Is networking, sex, friends, fame the goal?
OR ALSO this "talking up" only applies to this pointless party, bar, artist, queer culture I have thrown myself into. Pretty much I meet a bunch of people at parties drink take some photos and never see those individuals during daylight hours.
At the same time I felt the exact thing that they were talking about when I walk into a new room. I was right there behind them hearing this. Still, I can relate to the element of attraction, I was draw to a majority of the individuals at the party. Each person had something that stood out about them. I don't know if I played into to the whole meat market head game.
You wouldn't need to "talk up" someone if they were in a position to actual converse with the people you come to a party to meet or hang out with.
Crazy Idea right?
 
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networking   
08:11pm 27/02/2008
  a few things in my world:
I just made it past the second round of applying to Teach for America
Today I was accepted in the Senior art show at DePaul ( I am one of 8 people showing)
I just got a position as a neighborhood photographer for this annual guide book sold on college campuses.

My solo art show is March 14-15

I am photographing for the movie premier of Mass romantic March 13

CI comedy has referred me to another comedy act that wants me to do promos and action stills

I am going to be working with the depaul theater school next semester

My grammar school friend Julie recommended me to start working with an up and coming small fashion business that needs product and model photography for a website and myspace.

..... ps I need money.........
I have these great ideas for installation photography but I don't have the money to print the posters I wants....

My mom called me a yuppie. and my dad told me earnestly, that he was proud of me.
I don't think I have ever heard him say that. Like I know he loves me and that I am taking a much different direction with my life than he ever did but I just never heard him say that.

On the down side it made me think about the conference and sexuality and how "pride" means so many things. And they will never ever truly be proud of me.
 
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horoscope... of PAIN (j/k)   
02:43am 24/01/2008
  "Your ability to get your message out there is quite strong today and that could mean that you can pump up your business just as easily as you can tell your secret crush how you really feel."

That was my prediction for tomorrow. I find that it would have fit for today. I said something stupid/revealing.


and I had crazy out of control dreams during my naps.
Maybe i will make napping a more common thing.
Anyone want to join our club?
 
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lost thoughts   
02:18am 13/12/2007
  i decided to try taking more photos around the house.
I was developing thoughts behind a tub photo projects but all that I rationalized, I forgot.










I need help with sequence
 
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one year later   
09:26pm 11/12/2007
  I went to a lot of places. Yet I am still here.
I was told today that my education was complete.
I don't feel educated.

I think my ipod was set to sucide mode. It was greatly intuitve but to a fault.
 
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show time   
01:35pm 13/08/2005
  so yesterday was the grill and play. i took some shots(photos) and hung out with old friends. i had a killer migrane that made me bitchy as all hell but then jasia came by at 2am and saved the day  
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so since we last met   
03:46pm 01/08/2005
  i went to the pacific ocean. i sippied on pina coladas. and got shells fro my dad and bought tons of presents. we didn´t go to the foam club. tons of bad timing. and the last day there i decided to gun it and tan a lot. today (5 days later) i look like a cancer patient . i peeled and the brown i had is a baby pink.

i went crazy the days surrounding the start of my special friend. just went totally batty. anyways im better now. we went out to the middle of nowhere 3 hours away from zapopan. there were two cows that passed me when i was changing my shoes in the crv haha.. tons of dogs and cats everywhere and a rooster that liked to hump this one duck.

we went out to see the stars. and i asked what the clouds were... they weren´t they were masses of tiny star systems

i have been thinking a whole lot ( visiting all these houses)about the crappy set up of our home. very inifficent. and i have crazy ass dreams ussually involving highschool damnit... oh well

i could keep writing but no one reads this shit anyways
 
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HOLA!!!   
03:44pm 18/07/2005
  so yes i am in mexio. there is a hurricane coming.. oh no! not really  
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sandstorm   
02:46pm 12/07/2005
  so im leaving soon and i realized its pretty much for a whole month. wow. i have no clue what to bring. think or do  
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i need to find a tambourine man and we can rock the keggers together   
10:29pm 10/07/2005
  so yes i flew. i ran. i kissed. i climbed. i croaked. and then i partied. ... too hard

today: day after my party.

1 hour to my birthday

2 days until i leave for mexico
i bought my first good bra, bikini, and fli flop today. it was jarring but spiritual
whoop.
i decided to give up drinking.

thanks to whomever decided to show yesterday. you guys rocked. and thanks steph and crew great job. best gift ever
 
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mark Hammel! u're so dreamy   
07:48pm 08/07/2005
  so kids im back from europe. and now im going to mexico . im worried and excited. i hope i can make some money from the photos i took .

anyways i went by boytown. for the first time in a long time, i got a good books. it makes me happy. walked a lot . ate good food. bought things .. ( which my cheap and picky bum never does !! ever) i really want a new pair of boots after mine crumbled on my ass.. ill change my pennies to dollars/ anyways.. whoo . going out tonight for a little.
 
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tlv june 24th   
10:41pm 21/06/2005
  so i wanted to go clubbing for the summer s.
but we went on a jack the ripper tour with a man who helped mr. depp.. i knew he looked familiar

so im worried about paris.. the hotel is in an off place
and yea the trashlight vision show is on the 24th please go ... whom ever was asked.. i have no clue what today is date wise
 
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tube time   
10:52pm 16/06/2005
  so yea day two of my trip. i didn't suck too bad at booking a hotel. its right by the highway, a man in undies gets the door and has a shit shower but it great .

there is a great area all around it though im sitting in a mall writting this now. tons of starbucks and overpriced stuff. i fear about paris. its so chilly here and im hungry now. til later
email me ! i get free calls on the cell its 6 hours a head here so don't wake my ass up.
 
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finally final   
02:30am 09/06/2005
  so yea today was the last official day of yearbook work at school. It kinda a weird feeling. im not getting religious or deep. it was just a long period of my life. but i can honestly say i put my all. my best, my whole into it. and i will cherish it both the product and the getting there.
it was a lot of writting, a lot of getting screwed over, and a lot learning.

i also just finished watching the movie "what dreams may come" i love it
I know my loved ones and the rest are just there they hate of indifference doesn't phase me. i live. and i shall leave soon
 
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p.s. pc   
04:04pm 06/06/2005
  sorry steph

and there is no damn milk!
 
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barely there   
04:00pm 06/06/2005
 
mood: creative
so i finally got my bike im so excited. and the eurostar tickets are not lost in translation
i just want to double check all the hotel info and right now have to start on my list and see what i need to buy

anyways i was bumming around watching start trek. got my bike. rode with nene to kayla's got confused and over reacted now im back here to plan . work . SHOWER and watch the last part 0f cleopatra///
 
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soo i need help   
09:31pm 05/06/2005
  im putting together that dvd for my senior friends and i want to put together a remeber when folder.. ideas are cool


in other news... I have a sweet ass bike It has a bell soft ass seat, mirrors basket that folds and a light and soon splash gaurds and a study lock system. im super excited.. i need that work out

I've been cooking a lot of marshmallows, watching a lot of old movies and sleeping. it great but not good to do. fri i went to the block party with my sister and steph and we met justing there. jenny and i have decided to go into the witness protection program from the music industry whores and to start our lives a new


see u in yearbook editing when im bored as hell
bye
 
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dictionary   
07:23am 23/05/2005
  I am compacted into a sentence
a one lined definition with three highlights
im that special
 
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what's my age again   
07:10am 23/05/2005
  so its 7am and i don't have anywhere to be for three hours.

sitting there sideways,
i heard the radio sprew
my father sat empty
the drops rolled down
pulling at the pearl
- corpses of my grandmothers sunglasses

time passes and truth shifts
-sideways-
i stared into monster chomped
pieces of glass, a looking glass
it throws the suv's and mini vans
in 30 directions

I scream inside
i start to shake
my lip is pulled taunt and crimson
between my teeth
with teeth i grin
i bare it
 
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